Protecting Neurodiverse Individuals: Recognising Abuse

Neurodiversity is a spectrum, and it is crucial that we as parents, professionals and members of our community do our utmost to protect neurodiverse individuals from the risks of abuse.

Understanding the signs of abuse and knowing how to report it is essential in safeguarding vulnerable young people. Here are some key points to keep in mind when it comes to recognising and reporting abuse:

1. Neurodiversity encompasses a wide range of conditions such as, but not exclusive to ASD (autism) and ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). Each individual is unique, and their experiences and challenges may differ.

   
   

2. Abuse can manifest in various forms such as physical, sexual, emotional, financial and neglect. For neurodiverse individuals, the signs of abuse may present differently due to communication barriers or sensory sensitivities. For young people, particularly neurodiverse young people, I have created a non-exhaustive list of signs which COULD indicate that your young person is going through an experience which is taking advantage of them:

   
   

   1. Sudden or Subtle Rule-Bending to Please Someone

   They start quietly changing their behaviour or boundaries in ways that are uncharacteristic — even if small.

   2. “I’m the Only One They Trust” Narratives

   Your young person describes someone (often older, more confident, or charismatic) who tells them they are “special,” “the only one who understands,” or “the only one they can trust.”

   3. Unusual Secrecy About New Relationships

   Suddenly withholding the names or details of new friends, peers, or online contacts — even though they previously shared openly.

   4. Shifting Loyalty to an “Intense” Friendship

   One relationship becomes all-consuming, even if it appears positive at first — but they begin:

   • Pushing away other friends or siblings

   • Becoming defensive if anyone questions the relationship

   • Mimicking the person’s language, views, or habits unusually quickly

5. “Emotional Caretaking” of Someone Older or More Powerful

They describe a friend, mentor, or adult figure who is going through a hard time, and they feel responsible for “keeping them happy” or “helping them cope.”

6. Hyper-Awareness of Another Person’s Emotions

They become preoccupied with reading one specific person’s moods, reactions, or emotional “safety,” often at the cost of their own.

7. Sudden Use of Sexualised or Inappropriate Language

A young person may begin to repeat words, jokes, or phrases that feel “out of step” with their usual tone or maturity — but brush it off as “just joking.”

8. Guilt or Shame After Normal Social Interactions

They appear unusually anxious or guilty after spending time with a particular person or group — even when nothing outwardly seems wrong.

9. Quiet Loss of Interests or Voice, or becoming distant

They may not seem overtly distressed, but start:

• Dismissing their own opinions (“I don’t care what we do”)

• Giving up hobbies they loved

• Seeming flatter, more compliant, or withdrawn in subtle ways.

10. Body-Based or Sensory Clues

Especially for neurodivergent children who may struggle to name emotional states, the body often tells the truth first.

3. Young people will often give clues and drop hints about the experiences they are having, so it is important to get to know the "norm" for your young person, and this can give you a better indication if something isn't right in their world. This can be difficult, especially for those with communication challenges, but having a network of people who can also connect with your young person will help to recognise changes in their behaviour, even if they don't always conform to the points above.

   
   

4. Further signs of abuse in young people can be found on the NSPCC website: https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/